I was hoping I could round-file this blog, hoping that the Sharks would prove me wrong and get a win last night against Calgary. Alas, it was not to be, so I have a list of deeply serious and carefully thought out ideas of why the Sharks can’t win at home.


Theory: The term “In the Tank” has negative connotations as in, “I lost my shirt when that stock went in the tank.”
Solution: Change the name to something more friendly, like the Shark Jacuzzi or the Shark Hot Tub or the Shark Tide Pool. (Okay, so I’m not great at names.)


Theory: The Sharks hate their home jerseys and this is a passive-aggressive method for getting new ones.
Solution: I suggest they try wearing their away jerseys for a couple of home games and see what happens.


Theory: The Sharks are too at-home at home. They go home and play with their kids, visit with their wives, do whatever it is they do when they’re not playing. On the road, they are stuck in hotels with cable and bad room service.
Solution: They need to be isolated the day before a home game. Motel 6 sounds like a plan.


Theory: The tank is cursed. Has anyone refused to sell a ticket the goat? Are there three or more ex-Cubs on the team?
Solution: Seat the goat and fire at least one ex-Cubbie.


Theory: The Sharks are testing the loyalty of their fans. (Duh . . )
Solution: You catch more flies with honey and more fans with wins.


Theory: The Sharks lack focus at home. Well, something is obviously wrong. No healthy team goes on a ten game winning streak on the road and still can’t win two in a row at home.
Solution: If I had one, I’d be coaching not blogging. That disclaimer made, the Sharks seem less intense and less driven in the Tank – although they looked pretty energized last night for the part of the game I saw. Oh, who knows! Start winning at home, dang it!