In the past couple of years, “Pypes” has made appearances in various TV shows such as The L Word, Cane, and Brothers & Sisters. He loves to cheer on his Vancouver Canucks but lived for a short time in Calgary, AB, and will be providing commentary on his second favorite team, the Calgary Flames, throughout the Stanley Cup Playoffs.


Day of the dead. Cinco de Mayo. The 5th of May. And then there were four.


I am not kidding you. I opened the mailbox and inside was a stuffed Penguin. Seriously! As in a dog toy, fluffy stuffy, not a taxidermied bird. Probably a prank from some embittered Rangers fan lamenting that their Captain Billy Goat Gruff (aka Jagr) was not long for the second round. Heck, even I’m gonna miss Sean Avery, who should be dubbed the Tiger Williams of his era! Do I care for his antics? His erratic behavior? Do I wish him well in healing his spleen? Do I wonder which team bus he’ll be tossed off next? Yes, yes, yes and YES! Get well soon Sean. The game needs you.


Forever to be quoted and never to be forgotten, having uttered an already classic simple two syllable barb, now, “fat-so” has a whole new meaning. See Webster’s dictionary for the definition: Suck it up and shake my hand Big Guy. Alas poor Marty has empowered the wordsmith, known as Sean, with another victory, by not accepting the olive branch. The wicked specter of Avery will forever haunt Brodeur’s storied career; he has made his nemesis legendary. And that, my friends, is our fondest memory of the Rangers playoff run. Their shining moment. See ‘ya, wouldn’t want to be ‘ya.


The Pens look like a team to be reckoned with – enthusiastic, young, hungry, tenacious, and skilled. They ain’t got no quit in them and, terrifyingly, that Game 5 OT goal may get Hossa going. How many scoring chances has that man had?! Hats off to Lundqvist who, hands down, is the reason the Rangers played on to Game 5. Meanwhile, Fluery is no slouch and also knows how to stand on his head.


And keeping with the goal-tender theme, did Guy Carbonneau spot a fire in the building before Game 4 and begin searching for the fastest exit out of the Playoffs? Well he found it. What the @$%*! The move isn’t even Keenan-esque. It’s just, well…unfathomable. Price, the future franchiser, the guy you call on to fill Huets pads, is pulled for Game 4 and now he’s not only got the coach, but Montreal fans in his head for game 5, so he changes catching mitts! Oh dear. Hey this kid is gonna be great, but I think he will be
following Patrick Roy’s lead and getting the hell out of Dodge.


And check this translation with your favorite French Canadian eh – Biron in English becomes “Be Iron!” It’s Tony Stark! S’right yo. Iron Man between the pipes folks. This dude is the third goal post! If it’s on net, he’s in the way of it. Clank, Clank, Clank. Unbelievable!


What else? The Wings move on, defeating umm, who was that – the cast of Ice Capades that they swept?


And Finally! I mean Finally! An epic novel to slay the Leviathan, oh jimminy! Come on guys it’s Sunday night and I’ve got school tomorrow. Nabby and Turco – miraculous. Fittingly, Morrow played the role of Ahab moving the Stars into the conference finals. What a workhorse.


Come on! Drop the puck already.


I’ll be back with my picks in a couple of days.


Pypes