I don’t apologize for it. I don’t qualify my defense of it. I think its one of the most intriguing parts of our game. I hope it stays that way!

Fans of the other three “major” sports feign disgust and exclaim “we’re appalled” when a fight breaks out. Then, almost without exception, those hi-lights lead the SportsCenter video tease. We see an irritated batter rush the mound while he hopes like hell someone stops him before he makes it to the pitcher. Meanwhile the benches clear. And even though every single baseball fan calls it “barbaric”, not one of them miss a chance to watch it again or talk about it the next day.

Hockey fans, on the other, much less hypocritical hand, relish the pure competitive emotion of the brawl.

Doesn‘t matter if it‘s two heavyweights going at it for the eighth time this season – we all remember Domi vs. Ray, right? My favorite battles are when it’s a pure “message thing“. Watching Brendan Shanahan go head to head with Donald Brashear may have been the best “admire my leadership” moment of the 06-07 season. Some fights might even be most entertaining if it’s a couple of guys who aren’t known for their fisticuffs.

There are, at the very least, two types of fight in the game today:

A.) Pure, unmitigated hatred for your foe.

This is the kind of fight that you see Max Afinogenov, a player absolutely never mistaken for a tough guy, get into after he’s taken as much guff as he’s gonna take that day. Players stop giving a crap about their coach or their team or their personal well-being. Emotion takes hold and the gloves come off. I’m old. So I’ll refer you to one of the all-time great hockey fights of all time. This little battle perfectly exemplifies the “fuck you” fight. Go to YouTube and type in CASHMAN vs. SCHOENFELD and be enlightened.

These fights only occur because of the Instigator Rule and the inconsistency of most of today’s referees. A cheap shot used to be answered with a goon in the corner. But the threat of extra penalty time has eliminated this deterrent. Now, the only way to respond to knee-on-knee contact, hits from behind, hits to the head, sticks to the groin, slashes to the wrists (all those spineless, behind-the-play actions that warrant ejection, fines and suspensions) is to lose your cool and hope you don‘t look bad defending yourself.

I don‘t remember which coach said it – I want to think it was Lindy – and I can’t quote him exactly – but it goes something like this . . .“It doesn’t matter what you look like coming out of it as long as you care enough to get into it”. This, to me, is what the hockey fight is all about. And I love that its part of our sport.

Unfortunately there’s another type of fight.

2.) The enforcer “filling his role”.

These guys fight for no other reason than “that‘s what he gets paid to do“. Cote, Laraque, Boogaard, et. al. seem to take a roster spot and a few hundred thousand dollars of salary cap space. That’s it. There’s surely no joy watching Brashear try to streak down his left side. But what’s worse, there’s no joy in watching him “square off” at center ice either. There’s no emotion in it. Honestly sometimes I cringe with embarrassment while I wait for someone to throw that first forced punch.

In fact, I think these “pre-meditated” farces should be eliminated from the game.

These types of fights can easily be stopped before they start. Linesman can jump in because these fights usually start with the participants “sizing each other up” like an old-timey Popeye cartoon – circling slowly ten feet away from each other. They should be considered “delay of game” penalties or “unsportsmanlike conduct” penalties. They could even be infractions that would entail an expulsion – throw ‘em out for looking ridiculous!

We know that both types of fight require two willing participants. But do we really need “enforcers” to settle things on the ice anymore?

In bflo. we started the year with Andrew Peters filling the role of pugilist. And he’s pretty good at it. He’s a big, strong guy who’s smart enough not to take the stupid penalty. He did his job well and never really hurt his own team while doing it.

But we finished the season at HSBC Arena with a tough-as-nails local kid named Pat Kaleta. He didn’t fight so much as crash. He hit everybody every shift every night he laced up skates. Fearless and legal body checks all game long. And when he needed to he dropped the gloves. I don’t think his lack of Major penalties detracted in the least from his effectiveness as an “energy” player. I think he is more then just an enforcer. And not at all a traditional goon. He actually entertains with his enthusiasm for the physical play.

To give us some perspective on goons and their contribution to our sport, here’s a sample from the 2007-08 regular season (these are league rankings based on PIM):

#1 Carcillo 324pim +1

#4 Cote 202pim +2

#11 Goddard 171pim -8

#18 Laraque 141pim +0

#23 Shelly 135pim -4

#30 Brashear 119pim -7

#48 Peters 100pim -4

While some of these guys are Unrestricted Free Agents, I wouldn’t waste a roster spot or cap money on any one of them.

I long for a league filled with honest-to-goodness tough guys (see: Phaneuf, CGY) instead of gutless pukes (see: Avery, NYR). But I honestly don’t see the need for an “enforcer“ on the roster anymore.

Go John D’Amico (R.I.P.)! GO SABS!!!